Movember is here. It's time for you to toss that razor in the bin and let your facial hair grow. You're a man and the month couldn't be any more special for you. You're lucky because you can grow a beard, (most) women can't. Growing a mo is the coolest thing ever. And we're not talking about the obvious reasons. We tell you why.
1. While speaking to someone, you can stroke your facial hair and pretend you're thinking of something intelligent to say. There is no better way to look thoughtful even when Sunny Leone is all that is on your mind.
2. What do you do when you're running short of money? Take a bank loan. Now, imagine how cool it would be to have your own bank. Only, the one that reserves hair instead of money. If tomorrow, you begin to bald, you already have a full hair reserve in the form of that long beard. It's all yours! No interest, no worries.
3. Keep 'em coming for a couple of decades and you can soon start earning out of it. Become the new age Rapunzel and bewilder Western tourists that come to India, with your long facial hair. Put on a beard show and display the many beard styles you can sport. Charge them for it, of course!
© Priyanko Sarkar
4. You know one of those fights where you know you've already won even before starting the duel? This is when the long beard comes in handy. Use it to slap the opponent hard when your hands are too tired to do the honours. Use your hands for better things, like filming the duel as you repeatedly slap the other person with just a flick of the chin. Now that's what we call multitasking!
5. Talking of duels, there may be times when the opponent is rather strong. Grow a good cover and see the punches diluting in impact as they hit your face. If you're as lucky as Anil Kapoor in this department, you'd probably even be able to trap your opponents in it till they suffocate. It's a cushion to your face that protects you from any damage! If it doesn't, it would at least hide the evidence well.
6. When it gets long enough, tie it into a braid and use it as a rope. How, we tell you. Remember how inconvenient it is to get your car towed when it crashes on the highway? No more buddy! Pull that rope out, tie it to your bonnet and pull away like that girl in a certain shampoo ad. Why should girls have all the fun?
7. Frighten kids. Be the bearded ghost they've never seen even in their worst nightmare. It's always a great feeling to be the 'scary guy'. Yes, scare the hell out of them 'coz making kids wet their pants in fear is always fun!
8. Use your facial hair to have some more fun. Disguise yourself as a new person. Get a makeover! Fool your wife. If Shah Rukh Khan can do it to Anushka Sharma, you can do it too!
9. Do you know hair can, over time accumulate and form into a solid horn? It's time to get into the jungle book. Let it all mount up. Grow a horn - wherever you want! It's something to keep for the rest of yourself. There's a reason why many animals are jealous of the rhinoceros. Who doesn't want to be the one-horned guy?
10. Movies teach us so much! One from amongst us came up with this idea - none other than the legend Tom Hanks. While 'Cast away' was very well appreciated by the critics, his main message didn't reach many. This is what it was - grow an unruly wild beard and get into a woman's house and pretend you're shipwrecked. What do we achieve from it? Who cares as long as it's fun. What do girls achieve from going to the washroom in large groups, anyway?
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