There is one rule, above all others, for being a man. Whatever comes, face it on your feet - Robert Jordan | The Great Hunt
My father got home early that day. We sat in the lush green lawn talking over tea, after a long time. After we chatted about my day at school for a while, he lowered his gaze, tensed the temples on his forehead. I knew what it meant. He always did that when he had something important to tell. I had recently turned thirteen. That year, he'd make me sit with him on several occasions and discuss what he liked to call, Lessons of Life. Looking down the memory lane, I'm not surprised to realize those are my fondest memories. They helped me evolve from a boy to the man that I am.
Today, my son enters his teen age. And I'm here, to make him understand how important growing up is, in not just the literal sense of the word. So, here are some lessons to always remember.
1. Accept Yourself
Nobody knows you better than you. Introspect a lot. Make yourself aware of your beliefs, because that is what will define you in the future. Know what you are made of; accept your preferences and wishes. We grow up learning to obey elders -be it your parents or teachers. Your friends may become an equally big influence as well. And it will be convenient to opt for a path with least conflict. But always remember to stand by your beliefs. If you have conviction in your moral values, the rest of the world will never be a hindrance.
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2. Put Your Foot Down, When Necessary
You will meet all kinds of people. There will be people who agree with you and those who do not. You may find friends who may oppose your beliefs but remember, that doesn't mean you're wrong. Even if they're in a larger number, do not be intimidated. Put your foot down and fight for your beliefs. Be proud of what you are. When somebody puts forth a morally indecent idea, do not give in. Not only should you oppose the comment, but also sternly advise them not to repeat it again. Do not be sit back like a coward. If you're right, you should have nothing to worry about.
3. Mind Your Company
It's not for nothing that they say company makes a man. At this stage when you're figuring out life, beware of bad company. Friends change lives. Make sure they change yours for good. Also, do not inflict your vices on your friends. You're as responsible for your friends as they are for you.
4. Punch Fear In The Face
Someday, your kids will too, come to you, scared of something or the other, and you will have to teach them to be fearless . Before that, you need to be strong enough yourself. We fear what we do not know. Instead, stand brave and face it. You will emerge to be a stronger person.
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5. Join The Pack
Play sports. They don't just help you grow physically. They teach you to learn how to work with people, lead, follow and focus, at the right time. Nothing can build your character more than playing a sport. It will make you learn how to adjust with minds that work differently and use combinations to their best scope.
6. Fighting Is A Dumb Guy's Tool
You can do much better than that. It is only when a person has nothing smart to say that he resorts to violent measures. If someone subjects you to violence, walk away. They may tell you that you're a coward. Don't listen to them, because it is manly to be physically strong, but not manlier than being able to toss someone off using just words. However, when there is no other way out, give it (him) your best punch.
7. Manners Maketh A Real Man
If you're growing up to be man, be one that people like. By manners I do not mean that you should always keep your elbows off the table or not cough with your mouth uncovered. I mean, be well-behaved. Respect people. It will pay back.
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8. Be All Ears, Always
Life's most important lessons come in most unexpected ways. Keep your ears open. When someone advices you, chances are, they've experienced something similar in life already. Learn from it. Don't dismiss it even if it doesn't sound right. Think about it. That however, doesn't mean you should follow advices blindly. Use your own mind too.
9. You Are Who You Are
Do what you like. Just because they say you're not supposed to do it, doesn't make them right. If you want to colour your hair red, go ahead. Express yourself without fear. Don't believe people who ask you to stick to stereotypes. Break free and give yourself a chance to realize what you are from within.
10. Disagree, But Never Disrespect
Like you, everybody has a mind of their own. And you can rarely control it. Accept that there more ways than one to look at certain things. First of all, do not disagree just because they were the first ones to come up with it. Even if you genuinely disagree, never disrespect the person. If you feel differently about a matter, say it in a dignified manner, without meaning to put anybody down.
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11. Stand On Your Own Feet
Make a world of your own, on your own. A man is able enough to take care of himself. It may be inconvenient or hard at first, but being responsible is much more rewarding. Do not be a burden on anyone.
12. Idolize
Boys are aimless and free. Men are focussed and organised. Get inspired. Find people you aspire to be like. But do not be floored by their success alone. Pick attributes that will help enhance your personality and become a better man. Do not be fascinated by fame either. Instead, surround yourself with thoughts of those who have a lot more to offer.
13. Fit Bodies Have Fitter Minds
Your mental well being and performance depends a lot on your health. Exercise to stay fit. Your unhealthy habits may not pose a threat to you right now, but they may turn into bigger problems a few years down the line. Exercising and eating healthy are habits you must start developing.
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14. Focus On The Smaller Picture
A lot of people would cloud your mind with thoughts regarding an uncertain future. Know that you're not the only one. Most of us do not have it all planned, and it is perfectly alright. Do not let today slip away worrying about tomorrow. You may not see the road beyond that hairpin turn, but when you reach there, you will see it continuing ahead. Plan your future well in advance but not at the cost of ruining your present.
15. Be Open To Change
Your Play Station may be the most important thing to you right now, but when you grow up, your priorities will change. It will be a car next. And then, it will be your girl. Be prepared to sail along. Change is predestined. Learn to accept that, as your life heads in a new direction, the importance of existing things may change. Deal with it with confidence.
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